1. UnComix Tales: The Humans: The Epic Series Finale "All Loose Ends..." (Un-Iverse #68)
Rating: R. Bloody violence, strong language, disturbing images, adult themes, sexual situations, scatological humor. Pretty much the worst excesses of Twin Peaks (plus butt and piss jokes).
Author's Note for UnComix Tales: The Humans: The Epic Series Finale #1 (One-Shot) "All Loose Ends..." (Un-Iverse #68)
I'm a little worried about this one. It's not like this saga is legit published, so I can get away with essentially doing a giant in-joke, but I suspect even people familiar with Twin Peaks will find a LOT of it incomprehensible (which is a statement). SO many private in-jokes that only me and one other person would find funny. There isn't another issue as insular as this in the canon ever again, but I wonder if some folks might resent it all the more because of the cliffhangers to F.I.S.H. and Lace Doilies. Never mind. It is what it is.
I personally really like it though. I didn't get it exactly the way I wanted. But I got it far closer to what I wanted than I ever expected to be able to. I honestly expected the art in this one to be a total miss. Instead it's some of the best of the saga and really accentuates what's happening beautifully.
This issue took the longest time for me to complete the artwork EVER. It was a total bear designing all of those new characters. I'm not remotely a caricature artist either so making them all approximations for the real-live actors of Twin Peaks was a new challenge too. It took me several months and each page took around an hour long to draw (they usually take me 20 minutes). I refused to half-ass the artwork too so that meant many a stretch of getting NOTHING done simply because I wasn't at 100%. Tough issue.
This is pretty much the biggest lag time between issues of all time for me. The art killed me.
What is up with the Dr. Raggleworth gag strip? It was an in-joke for Candice Cole that literally only she would find funny. I can actually do shit like that while I make the comic myself and post it free of charge on my blog. I don't have to worry about alienating people about that stuff. Shall I explain the joke now? I might have discussed part of it elsewhere but in reality the joke (and current Dr. Raggleworth) exist as they do because The Un-Iverse no longer sucks ass and I actually care about it.
In the first iteration of The Un-Iverse, that shitty one I'm embarrassed of, the one Candice first read as a teenager, Dr. Raggleworth had a ridiculous speech impediment. He said the word "type" as often as some people say "like" or "you know". Sort of like a way to pause the conversation and gather his thoughts. His version of "Uh" was "type".
The joke actually made no sense, which is not a dealbreaker for me. If it were I would have gotten rid of The Humans ages ago. No the problem is the joke slowed down Julius' dialogue and drew undo attention to it. Worse, I could never give the poor guy any drama or pathos because nobody would take it seriously. The second iteration of The Un-Iverse I did I got rid of that character quirk.
Candice hit the roof. It was her favorite thing about the character and I reluctantly went through the dialogue and sprinkled types here and there. It's sort of humbling to realize you can add shady dialogue to your story with zero problems. I don't know if this is STILL true, but I know it was true adding those fucking types to the second iteration of The Un-Iverse. I think I agree with Candice about something. The second version was worse than the first. Not by much, but the second time out was when I started making Big Fucking Plans, and I didn't have the writing skills to pull them off. While the first version had lower stakes, the fact that it didn't always swing for the fences and always miss gave it a KIND of charm I will begrudgingly agree about.
But really, I could NOT have made Dr. Raggleworth's self-sacrifice in the final issue of Gilda And Meek as devastating as it was if he talked like Porky Pig. And it legit breaks my heart now. The types are gone.
The moral of the story is Candice was wrong, and the only reason I don't regret doing her that specific solid for her back then is that I wound up abandoning that version out of embarrassment anyways. But when I recently reconnected with Candice after 20 years her first note was to complain about the lack of types. And I held firm and explained my reasons. Of course, all my Gilda And Meek issues had been posted online by that point so it was obviously too late to change them anyways. But even if they hadn't been, I wouldn't have changed it no matter what. Why?
I have come to the unpleasant realization that fans have too much power over the franchises they love. Creators actually take their feedback seriously, and often change things to suit the fans' tastes. I think that is an utterly fucked up mindset not just for the wimpy creators. But it's bad for the fans too. Because one thing I've learned about fans, and this is especially true of superhero fans, is that they want the absolute worst things for their franchises. If they were in charge of DC Comics, it's the best things about it they'd get rid of first. Batman doesn't kill people because he's awesome and careful and unrealistically professional. If given the chance, fans would turn Batman into the Punisher and have him sloppily and gorily kill villains because they don't understand the fact that Batman can kick that much ass without using lethal force makes him awesome.
This slam is also true of me by the way. If I were in charge of DC and Marvel Comics, I'd make them entirely to my tastes. And get rid of the most popular and beloved things other fans love because I think they are damaging and they suck. If DC Comics were to cater to MY tastes, I'd be the only person happy, and they'd lose everyone else. I think this is true of ALL fan opinions, and I think fans are so spoiled and entitled they believe they have more power than they do. The scary thing is they are often right and writers who don't actually believe in their projects or have a firm idea where things are going cater to the fans' notions of what the story should be, rather than what was originally envisioned. Sometimes (like replacing the horrible Laurel Lance with the awesome Felicity Smoak as Oliver Queen's love interest on Arrow) it can work out. But Felicity is really the only example of fan feedback being followed that turned out for the best. Every other note and suggestion invariably sucks.
Creators need to be firm and stick up for their visions. My vision involves having scenes of Julius Raggleworth that will make you bawl your eyes out because you care about him as a real person. Candice didn't understand that at the time (although she's since come aboard). But reconnecting with her made me decide to do a scene of Julius randomly saying the word "type" for no reason other than to canonize it and make her happy. It's doesn't make sense, but it not making sense doesn't mean it isn't plausible in the franchise. We don't need an explanation why he randomly finally said the thing Candice wanted him to for three decades. He simply did, And Dat's Canon. And that joke is purely for her. I even time-stamped the scene in 2015 to make its canonicity feel, well, ACTUAL, and not imaginary. There is NO headcanon about it. It's simply canon. I put in a little extra effort to prove this actually happened, as unlikely and inexplicable as it actually is.
What I WILL say is he CHOSE to say it. It was not part of any sort of speech impediment. His reasons for saying that one word will remain mysterious and unexplained, but for the first time ever it was deliberate. Which is how it should be for the one and only time.
Candice was a huge Twin Peaks fan back in the day, and my go-to bud in going over every inch of our then current obsession. She also thought the idea of The Humans was funny, which I'm choosing to believe was her being charitable instead of her having poor taste. Putting the strip at the end of THIS specific issue and dedicating the entire issue to her to boot was a no-brainer.
I love the Narrator describing Dr. Raggleworth as the greatest fictional character in human history. As if the issue isn't crazy enough. I love that I can say shit like that because every reader knows it's a joke and that the Narrator is being sarcastic. Believe it or not comics used to hype themselves using similar superlatives, and that's me making fun of how ridiculous it is. Also, I am done listening to Geoff Johns describe superhero comics as the modern Shakespeare. Goddam it, comic books aren't even allowed to be FUN anymore! They're now supposed to be Shakespeare! Fuck that! Elvis jamming a cherry stem up his wet asshole is the level of Shakespearean pathos I aim for in every issue. Some people think their fandoms are deeper than they actually are. It's a joke here, but aging fans being SERIOUS about that is why superhero comics aren't fun anymore. Sheesh.
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