8. Lace Doilies "Bad Timing" (Un-Iverse #63)

 Rating: PG-13. Torture is depicted and there is also some gore but it's pretty mild compared to the rest of the later issues of Lace Doilies. Calm before the Conduit storm perhaps. Also be aware the issue contains language, adult themes, and sexual innuendo. 


















































Author's Note for Lace Doilies #8 "Bad Timing" (Un-Iverse #63) 

Honestly, I just love this issue. It's one of my favorite Un-Iverse issues so far. It is good enough to stand with the very best of Gilda And Meek. And that's mostly due to Bernadette, a character who also had a great deal to do with Gilda And Meek being great. I was always leery of writing F.I.S.H. because it simply does not contain a character like that. But Lace Doilies is in my mind the second best Un-Iverse title after Gilda And Meek. And it's mostly because it can deliver great issues like this one and the previous "I Beg Your Pardon". F.I.S.H. has its share of strong issues too. But I don't feel like they emotionally resonate as much for me as Lace Doilies often seems to. And that's because they are missing a character like Bernadette and a relationship like Bernadette and Otterman. Issues like this make me very happy. 

"Say it, don't spray it," comes from a classic "Life In Hell" comic strip with Akbar and Jeff by Matt Groening. But can I be honest? I think it is MUCH funnier here. And it was already funny as hell in the strip. But in the strip, as beautiful as Akbar's monologue to Jeff is, we know it's a humor strip, we know how messed up their relationship actually is, and we know the other shoe is gonna drop. But here, Otterman's speech to Bernadette is GENUINE pathos and drama, and I actually think VERY moving, and a truly huge moment for both characters in the canon, with actual consequences for them both. Which is why the exact same line is ten times funnier following that. 

The funniest, most ironic bit of that specific quip? Otterman is doing a LOT of leaking of bodily fluids onto her as he's wailing his final monologue, so I don't blame her for that specific note. Here's a Kleenex, dude. Clean yourself up. 

Here's something interesting about Bernadette and Otterman: Bernadette is the one of the two who actually had a proper adolescence and all of the good and bad that entailed. Otterman became a person as a fully formed adult. He never went through the various hormone changes Bernadette did, along with all of the things puberty entails such as acne, masturbation, awkwardness, and uncontrollable crushes. Bernadette's been through all that, so she kind of finds Otterman's juvenile attitudes towards "girls" kind of ridiculous. When Otterman says he isn't equipped to understand love, he isn't just being emo. He literally has never had a crash course in the subject. And Bernadette Anderson being his teacher in this matter means he is gonna get fucked up. A lot. I almost feel bad for him. Almost. 

Next Issue: F.I.S.H. #9 "One Shall Fall" (Un-Iverse #64)

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